Leaving the land of familiar to manifest the Dream.
Recently, I participated in a free webinar which talked about the Core Fear Matrix as a part of the program. I had not heard of this before. Once I did, I see it all over the internet. The free webinar was also offering a paid program, for which I was interested. However, I found myself questioning, do I want to pay the price? I kept wondering is it worth it? Usually, if I question something, I let it go believing it is not for me.
Yet, this course kept at the forefront of my consciousness. Should I or shouldn’t I? The course involves releasing the fear matrix of this and other lifetimes and retaking our power in order to manifest fully our gifts and visions to help others, and to manifest abundantly. These are all good reasons to take the course. Investing in myself and the Dream given to me for this life. Yet, the nagging doubts, which I told myself had to do with cost.
Then today, the lady giving the workshop and I exchanged a couple of emails. I realized that more than the money, it was fear of the unknown that was keeping me from committing, of not being good enough. She sweetly offered to do a free one on one call to see what the blockage might be, and when she said that a font was released.
First, came forth the image of Carlos Castenada jumping off a mesa cliff. If you don’t know him, Carlos Castenada was an Anthropologist from LA who in the 1970’s wrote a series of books about encounters and teachings with a Nagual or Shaman in Mexico. In the end of one of his books he needed to take a step into the unknown to regain his power. It was a leap of faith and trust in the Naugal Don Carlos that if he jumped he would not die. He didn’t. Now I know he hear the quote all the time, “If you friends jumped off a cliff would you do it also.”
This cliff is the cliff of fear. I had a few days ago listened to a short meditation begin working with the Core Fear Matrix removal. I believe this helped to allow me to be open to this choice to take the leap off the cliff of fear. The core fear matrix can be psychically seen by some as a dark blob with tentacles that embed in the energy field. For myself I felt it for a long time along my spine, not knowng what it was, but knowing each time I cleared my energy and chakras, eventually this energy block returned. So, I know it is something with which I need to work more.
“There are lots of things a warrior can do at a certain time which he couldn’t do years before. Those things themselves did not change; what changed was his idea of himself.”
― Carlos Castaneda, Tales of Power
I knew I could have accepted the kind offer of the person who is offering the course to do a 1 on 1, but I also knew it was important for me to make that choice in that instant to sign up and take the leap of faith into the unknown from the land of familiar.
I am not sure which Guide or teacher was nudging me with this, but I am thankful. Then, I was reminded again of the book, the Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson.
He says, “Not surprisingly, the place we experience testing is exactly where we struggle most to trust.”
For me it I have struggled to write a book which I have been called to write.
“Never take a path that has no heart in it. You can’t loose if your heart is in your work, but you can’t win if your hear is not in it.” Carlos Castaneda
I also limit myself to just blogging a small amount and not moving outward into the world with my gifts. Not that my gifts are any greater than anyone else. It is just that we are all needed to do our part, for the need is great. There is not just past life events and traumas which have created these fear blockages, but also events in this life, and the influence of ones who are working to control mass consciousness through energy blockages.
It isn’t easy to share this with others, but it is part of my jumping off the cliff into the abyss. For me the unknown is the reaction of others to that which is my calling. In signing up for this course, I am making my stand. I have had many lifetimes as Shaman and Oracles in differing cultures. As a Shaman often I would explore myself that which others would be facing, in order to be able to help guide them along the path. As an Oracle my part was to share a probable possibility that one could face if they remained upon the same course in their lives.
We all have choices and those choices determine our future.
“The self-confidence of the warrior is not the self-confidence of the average man. The average man seeks certainty in the eyes of the onlooker and calls that self-confidence. The warrior seeks impeccability in his own eyes and calls that humbleness. The average man is hooked to his fellow men, while the warrior is hooked only to infinity.”
― Carlos Castaneda
As I jump off into the abyss, I do so to let go of the core fear matrix which keeps me trapped in familiar, seeking to not be judged or rejected by others for the differences in my perspective of life. I move forward towards infinity, and the joy of being Free to Be. Like layers of an onion we see that which was hidden and now needs to be revealed and transformed.
I have been doing more to be of Service to the Creator and others. However, I was shown that I am Being asked to BE more with the Creator. That instead of asking the Creator or Light Beings to take away my fear, I must move through it with courage and trust to be Free. Self transcendence, is moving forward into the death of ego/rational thought that says but what will others think? It is a move to let go of the familiar survival techniques, patterns, habits and connections to others. It is releasing restrictive thoughts, self- doubt, self- importance, addictions or anything that limits our journey of reunion with Source, our I AM Presence.
Events like walking on coals, vision quests, sweat lodges are forms of this jumping off the cliff. It symbolizes shifting our perception from the physical world to the spiritual world. It is an act of courage, strength, and commitment to move beyond the limits of the physical world and the past to create a new future, guided by the Oneness of Source, and to merge with our I AM Presence.
In this choice we release all attachments to the past and our personal history to BE all that is Possible.
Don Juan told Carlos Castaneda:
“I have no routines or personal history. One day I found out that they were no longer necessary for me and, like drinking, I dropped them. One must have the desire to drop them and then one must proceed harmoniously to chop them off, little by little. If you have no personal history, no explanations are needed; nobody is angry or disillusioned with your acts. And above all no one pins you down with their thoughts. It is best to erase all personal history because that makes us free from the encumbering thoughts of other people. I have, little by little, created a fog around me and my life. And now nobody knows for sure who I am or what I do. Not even I. How can I know who I am, when I am all this?”
― Carlos Castaneda, Journey to Ixtlan: The Lessons of Don Juan
Does this mean I leave all the people I know, my work and life? No it means we are no longer defined by these. I have moved several times in my life. I have found it an opportunity to let go of the personal history that has allowed others to define who I am. They are the border bullies in your life. Not that they mean to be, but they are happy in their lives and don’t want change, and so they want you to remain the same also. For some, yes they let go of everyone and everything, but that is their choice. You simply need to not let the opinions of others define you , and as you do and respond with love to them, they will respond also and begin to let go. They will see the changes in you are for the better and they don’t need to be afraid, and perhaps they can change too and let go of fear.
So, I hope this helps someone. If not thanks for listening.
There are many paths to take, choose the one that fills your heart with love.
I AM Mareya Shimayah Elohim
Oracle of Divine Grace 