Tag: aging

Aging with Grace : Understanding Seniors in Your Life

Aging with Grace and enthusiasm for life are two main goals most of us have.

However, sometimes we forget things, it doesn’t mean we have alzheimers or dementia, it just means we are processing information less quickly than before. It often happens after retirement, because we don’t have the pressure of a job demanding our immediate decisions about things. We have time to ponder the possibilities and to accomplish a task. No more pressure to be quickly decisive.

So when others come and pressure us to be quick to do this or make a choice, it may be a bit upsetting, and you may see our hands tremble a bit. That doesn’t mean we are feeble physically, we just need to readjust our rhythm of life to match your demands and desires. Most young people don’t try to slow down their pace to meet that of those older.

I had gathered a lot of information and didn’t have it sorted for writing the book upon which I am working. It was upsetting and a bit daunting. Then spirit said to me:

Overwhelm is a sign of the vastness you hold within—the many temples you’ve built in thought and heart.

As the old Ones say in the Halls of Amenti: “When the vessel trembles from the waters it holds, it is only because it remembers the sea.”

A child or animals life is simple, play, eat, sleep, find shelter and be safe. They don’t have decades of experiences, information, wisdom, pain, sorrow filling their thoughts. They have instinct for animals and the learning of new skills for children and through these they learn fear. Fear for older people is to be forgotten and discarde by family, friends and loved ones. Fear is forgetting, or being physically disabled, so that we can’t do and experience the things in life that we have waited to do. Why did we wait?

We either had a job, financial obligations like a home and bills, or children and parent to help. It seems there was always something that needed us more than we needed to pay attention to our own needs, wants and desires. It isn’t that we resented it. It was simply the way it was for that was the pattern of life and we care and love others and want to make things better for them and easier if we can.

So when you come to see us and we move a little slower, or take a bit longer to decide or you see our hand tremble that doesn’t mean we are feeble, mentally incompetent or unable to live or care for ourselves and enjoy life. It simply means we have walked a lot of miles. We have cared for many more than ourselves. We may have difficulty seeing because our eyes are older and have seen much in our lives. We have decades of information to sort through to make that decision, we see many possibilities that you might not see because we see more than just this glass of water you see, we see the ocean of past , present and future and what they mean to this glass of water. (Ponder that you young whipper snapper) HA HA

Love us, spend more time (if you can) calling or visiting. Let’s go places together and experience new things, just be prepared if we move a bit slower. Honor our choices as we honor yours. Ask if you can help us to do anything but don’t get upset and rush in to do things your way without asking.

We are doing the best we can as are you. Let us honor each other. Honor not just you parents or grandparents, but all the older people you see who might be struggling to do something. Take a moment to ask if you can help. That which you were rushing off to do, will probably wait a few minutes while you do. Take a moment to speak with us if you see us. Even if it is just to say hello and how are you doing. You might even ask if they need anything or help with anything. You can set a time to do it that is convenient for you.

We don’t expect your help, for most of us it takes a lot to ask for help. We will struggle to do it or simply realize some things we have to let go or hire another to do it. We don’t always have extra money. Many are stuggling to survive. Some may have to decide be.tween food or medicine. Life and raising a family have left us with less and less money, that we have had to tap into to survive. So we don’t have money to pay another to fix and repair around our home. So don’t look down upon us because our house is not sparkling and our lawn is overgrown. Many need SNAP or Meals on Wheels to eat. They go without medicine because the out of pocket of medicare is too much. They can’t afford toilet paper, toothpaste, shampoo because SNAP doesn’t cover it. We can’t afford eye surgery or glasses and so we can’t drive. We have difficulty going to the store to get food or to the doctor. Some can’t afford their utilities so they suffer in the cold and heat. Some can’t afford television or internet and only have a radio. Their family neglects them and they are alone.

So whether we have survived to our age with enough to enjoy these years or we are stuggling and alone, we are still human beings.

Our cups are full and we may need help even if we don’t ask. We may get grumpy but now you know that we simply need you to be patient with us as we were with you.

Life is a process of change. We can live it with grace adjusting to the changes as they come or we can struggle and rebel against it and be unhappy and grumpy. It is easier to adjust with grace when one knows they are still loved and valued in this life and not discarded.

This is not written to create guilt in anyone. Simply to help one generation to understand another and to move through life with caring and compassion for each other. The older generation must learn that when they do need help and ask that they need to also be patient and await the timing that the other person is available to help. Today the younger generation are constantly connected to and bombarded with information. They don’t know the freedom of not being tied to the telephone and being able to just be outside and not feel the need to answer a phone or check your email. They have to rediscover what it means to be in the quiet of your own being without sensor input or to experience the voice of the Universe in the wind or the love of Creation in a flower.

WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

I AM Mareya Shimayah Elohim

Aging

Not all have grace with which to guide their process.

Aging is something we all face. It seems to come before we are ready. It seems just yesterday you were graduating high school, getting married, having children and trying to keep up with life. Now suddenly 50 years have passed since high school, you spouse has passed, your children are grown with children of their own and you feel alone.

If you are lucky your health is good, you have sufficient savings and income to live a comfortable life, and you have activities to keep you occupied. However, that is not the case for so many.

Things always seemed to come up for which you needed to tap into your savings which have dwindled. Perhaps you still have a mortgage or you were never able to buy your home you have always rented. You have suffered medical problems which prevent you from doing all the things you need to do around your home and to go places to find company and enjoyment. Your children are all busy and don’t call or come to see you except occassionally. Your friends like your spouse have passed and you just haven’t the health and energy to go out and make new.

You are afraid. You are alone. You try to maintain the things you have the best you can. Your money isn’t enough to pay your rent, buy food, gas for your car, fix what is broken and buy medicine. You worry what will you do if you can’t stay in your home and you become homeless. You begin to have a negative viewpoint due to fear of life and events around you. Even when you speak with people your fear, despair and anger appear in your words and people avoid you as a negative person.

YOU WANT TO CONNECT, to have friends, to be happy, to share and enjoy life, but you have so many worries that you don’t know what to do. People do not understand and you don’t want to embarass yourself by asking them for help.

I see it happen time and time again. Even when you children have been there for you up until the time you are beyond their abilities to care for you, when this happens the parent become angry that they have to go to a nursing home. What about when you don’t have savings or long term care insurance to pay for a nursing home. It becomes a burden on your children to try to find a place which they can afford to care for you. They have expenses of their own and limits on their income especially as they grow older and face retirement or ill health at the same time.

TRULY – the aging are the forgotten. Society complains about spending money on programs but the elderly are in need of care and help. Even when we try to prepare one never knows what can occur to deplete the funds we need to live comfortably and with people living longer it gets harder.

You probably avoid watching ads like the ones for the older Jewish women who are crippled and starving. It is not just them, but many elderly women and men in America who are in need. They didn’t plan to be in this situation. It is embarrasing and makes them angry and cranky.

What can you do? If you have an elderly neighbor say hello and speak with them. Ask them if they need anything done. If their lawn needs mowed, offer to help or their bushes trimmed. Ask if you can get something for them from the store or take them somewhere. Often they are no longer able to drive. If it looks like they are in need of someone to look in on them call the council on aging or meals on wheels.

Write to your senator or congress person asking them to support medicare and social security programs. Do you realize each year when except this year of 2023 when social security increases , medicare does too and take up a chunk of their cost of living. Do you realize many live below poverty level? One elderly woman I know had her rent go up $75 this year, luckily we had the large social security increase which was just enough to cover her increase in rent. This however puts her further below poverty level. She has help with utilities, meals on wheels and get damaged and outdated food on friday from the grocery store. She can’t afford television, her children don’t come to see her, and she is nearly blind so cannot drive. She is crabby and most people avoid her.

Some in the neighborhood see beyond this to how bad she feels about her circumstance and tries to hide them, due to pride and we try to help her. We ignore her negative attitude. One elderly gentleman takes her on friday to get the outdated food. I help her with paperwork she needs done and listen to her stories, and help with food for her cat and dog. They are her companions in life. Her children don’t visit and rarely call. I am not sharing this for any recognition for what I do to help her, but to share just one story. She is one step away from being homeless, if her rent increases beyond her social security next year. This is her only source of income, for life and needs have used up her savings.

Many are living alone and not in senior communities. IT IS SCARY to be old and living alone. Be sure to check on the seniors. Understand why they are scared and cranky and listen. Most often in life we simply want to be heard, and know that someone cares.

AS A NOTE:

We need larger beginning social security amounts and they need to increase the cola each year to include any medicare increases. The government needs to take the cap off social security income for payroll taxes so that all are paying their percentage on all of their income. If ones on lesser incomes can afford to pay so can those on larger incomes.

This is one of the main topics for which I have great care and conern. This is a place in life we all face. If you are young start saving now. May you find yourself healthy, wealthy and loved in your older years.

I Am Marguerite