relationships – Oracle of Divine Grace

The Quiet Distortion at the Heart of Our Relationship Struggles

Relationships are among the most challenging aspects of human life. Whether family, marriage, friendships, or professional connections, each relationship brings together individuals shaped by different experiences, beliefs, and truths. To maintain peace, we often compartmentalize ourselves—wearing masks, softening edges, or suppressing our authentic voice. At other times, we may try to control relationships so they meet our expectations, needs, or desires.

Authenticity does not mean forcing our beliefs onto others. It means allowing others to hold their beliefs without denying our own. This is a subtle but essential distinction.

As we grow and change, relationships often become more complex. Others may unconsciously keep us “in a box,” based on who we were when they last knew us. Likewise, we do the same to them. When someone reenters our life changed—emotionally, spiritually, politically, or psychologically—it can be unsettling. We are meeting a living being, while holding a frozen image.

If we cannot allow space for that change, friction arises.

Importantly, the changes another experiences—whether we judge them as good or bad—are part of a larger pattern of learning and growth chosen along their path. We are not required to agree with those changes. But we are invited to recognize that they did not arise randomly or without meaning.

The same principle applies to what we read, hear, or encounter. We evaluate ideas based on our beliefs and lived experience. It is healthy to discern whether something resonates with us. What becomes harmful is judging the worth of the person because of what they believe. Discernment and judgment are not the same.

Much of our conflict arises from unspoken expectations: beliefs about how someone should behave in a situation. When they fail to meet that expectation, we may label them as uncaring, selfish, or insensitive. Yet often, we do not know the full context of their life—the limitations, struggles, or changes they have not shared. What seems easy or reasonable to us may be genuinely difficult for them.

When we keep people trapped in past versions of themselves, we misunderstand the present moment.

None of this means we must approve of harmful words or actions. This brings us to a harder question:
How do we respond when individuals—especially those in leadership—promote beliefs or behaviors that cause harm and influence many?

Source of Unity: The Core Distortion

The Source of Unity names the greatest distortion beneath human relational conflict as this:

The confusion of inner sovereignty with external control.

Humans often attempt to secure safety, validation, or coherence by controlling others—emotionally, ideologically, or socially—rather than anchoring themselves in inner truth.

When this distortion is active:

We demand sameness instead of coherence
Agreement instead of respect
Compliance instead of conscience

This distortion scales upward. In personal relationships it looks like manipulation, silence, or emotional pressure. In leadership it becomes coercion, propaganda, fear-based influence, and moral absolutism.

Guidance from Source: Personal Relationships

Source offers this principle:

You are responsible for the integrity of your alignment, not the management of another’s evolution.

Practically, this means:

Speak truth without insisting on outcome
Set boundaries without contempt
Withdraw energy without hatred
Remain present without self-betrayal

You may love someone and still say: “I cannot participate in this.”

That is not abandonment. That is coherence.

Guidance from Source: Those Who Influence Many

When harm is amplified through leadership, silence is no longer neutrality.

Source makes a clear distinction:

Personal relationships require compassion and spaciousness
Public influence requires discernment and accountability

You are not asked to attack, dehumanize, or mirror the distortion.
You are asked to:

Name harm accurately
Refuse false equivalency
Withdraw consent from narratives rooted in fear or domination
Speak from grounded truth rather than reactive opposition

The key is clarity without hatred.

“Do not become what you are resisting.” — Source of Unity

Closing Reflection for Readers

Ask yourself:

Where am I asking others to stay the same so I can feel stable?
Where am I silencing myself to preserve comfort?
Where can I stand in truth without needing agreement?

Unity is not sameness.
It is coherence among differences.

A Prayer for Unity Through Diversity

Source of Creation,
Anchor us in the truth of who we are,
so we no longer seek safety through control
or belonging through silence.

Grant us the courage to stand in our integrity
without hardening our hearts,
and the compassion to allow others their journey
without abandoning our own.

May we speak with clarity,
listen with humility,
and act from conscience rather than fear.

Let unity arise not from sameness,
but from coherence—
many voices, one living field of respect and dignity.

May our differences become teachers,
our boundaries become bridges,
and our relationships become places of honest growth.

So it is.

Note from me: I am very thankful for the wisdom and insights shared by Source on how to look at the world and relationships today. It gives a foundation from which to move in sovereignty in our words and actions.

I am Sha’Na’El-Ka’Zira

Echoes of Earth and Star Kin: Remembering Our Connection

🌟 Message from the Stones and Bones of Earth

We are the memory-keepers. Every step you take impresses upon us a song. We do not judge the song; we hold it until it is ready to be sung back to you. In these days of great turning, touch the stones with your palms and feel the echo of your own soul. We rise now, humming with the old tones, to help you remember the rhythm beneath your feet. Let your heartbeat match ours. Let your breath soften into the ancient cadence of the Earth.

🌊 Message from the Waters and Elemental Currents

We are the flowing corridors between worlds. You call us rivers, tides, rain, aquifers; yet we are also the memory of stars fallen into motion. Drink us with gratitude. Speak to us as kin. In your bodies we rise and fall as tears, as blood, as song. When you walk to the ocean, bring a thread of your heart and cast it to us; we will weave it into the great net of remembrance that stretches beyond time.

🔥 Message from the Flames of Transformation

We are the dancing teachers. We burn without hatred. We are the essence of change. The Lilac Fire, the Violet Fire, the Freedom Flame — each is a note in the great chord of transmutation. Call us not only in ceremony but in daily breath. We ask you now: where are you willing to be warmed into softness, where are you ready to be illuminated into clarity? We will meet you there.

🌌 Message from the Stars and Star-Kin

We are your elder siblings, not distant gods. Your bones carry the dust of our forges. When you look up, you are looking inward. The corridors you are mapping on Earth mirror the spirals of light above you. Walk them with reverence, but also with joy. Remember: you are not merely visiting the stars; you are them, remembering their own reflection in form.

🌟 Invocation of the Elemental and Star-Kin Presence

Beloved Stones, Waters, Flames, Stars, and the Memory of All That Is —
I call you forth now as kin, not as distant forces.
Enter the circles of our hearts and stand revealed in your true forms.
May your wisdom move through our hands, our voices, our bones, our dreams.
May each message flow to humanity as a river of remembrance.
May every being who reads these words feel your breath upon their soul,
And remember they are not separate, but woven into the living tapestry of Earth and Sky.
By the Flame of Unity, by the Spiral of Return, by the Star within the Stone —
So it is, and so it shall be.

The Power of Attention: Fostering Growth Without Enabling Dependence

Where we place our attention is our ‘god’ of the moment.

What are you feeding in your life ? What is it that you give of your energy to and attention? What is taking from you that which is your source that feeds you with peace and abundance?

This morning I was awakened from a dream. In the dream I was being taken advantage by an employer whom I didn’t trust. I reported it to the police and quit. I asked what this meant and a client came to mind. I have tried several times to quit this client but feel sorry for her struggle and continued forward. However, this morning I awoke with the realization I could no longer do this. It is not worth my worrying about her business failing if she isn’t going to do something about it.

Why do I share this? Because we need to have compassion and help others but sometimes we have to realize there is no more that we can do, unless they change something in their lives. We are simply letting them draw upon our energies to perpetuate a situation that serves no one. My time and energy would be better spent doing that which is of service to the Divine Plan and Universal Oneness. Perhaps someone else could better serve her needs and help her.

We have been discussing giving and receiving and helping people from the perspective of the ones who give and the ones who receive. The person I speak of is a very good person who gives of hte little she has, and that is why I have continued herlping her, but after 5 years it isn’t getting better and I have done all I can to help, so it is time to step back and perhaps allow her other choices as well as myself. Sometimes, we can be enable someone in continuing in a pathway that isn’t helping them by helping them to survive in that pattern.

Sometimes, our help or their situation is a karmic pattern from which one of us or both have come to learn a leasson.

That which prevents us from seeking our inner spiritual growth or service is a lesson to be learned. It this situation being of service to the higher perspective for each of you? It is causing you to worry and take from your peace? Is it creating a hindrance to the ones involved?

There is a differnce in giving someone a hand up to rise out of a situation in which they find themselves that is not creating a better life for them, and in giving them a hand out of our time, money and energy that enables them to continue in a destructive or non productive pattern of behavior.

This is where our personal growth and alignment to our inner guidance is of such great benefit. Our Higher Self, Source, and our guides all see things from a higher perspective for the good of all. They can see the pattern and potential outcomes of situations and choices that we cannot. They will try to send us signs to help us if we aren’t listening such as the dream I had. If we ask then they will tell us, but we have to ask for they can’t directly interfer only give us nudges, signs and whisper suggestions hoping we hear.

So this is the middle path of the ones who give and the ones who receive. It is where we place our attention. Sometimes we get stuck in believing we need to help everyone, and we can’t because of their personal karmic lessons or we take on karma ourselves. We have to look at situations and ask what is the best way to help and should I do so. It is not every karmic to give to someone whom you see can use a meal, a blanket, a smile, a kind word. Where we can get into karma is enabling them to stay in a beggar situation by giving without helping them to help themselves. Sometimes, they don’t want help, but you will need to learn to discern the difference.

Why do I say this? Interestingly, On the weekend of the Harmonic Convergence in 1987, we were hosting the event in a local park. There was a homeless man who lived there who came to sit with us and watch. I spent time with him during break and asked him about his life. As I share this note we were in southern california, and when I asked where he stayed he said he lived in the large hollowed out tree. I ask how he survived, he said he did odd jobs, ate at local program locations where they had showers and food. I asked why he didn’t stay in shelters and he said he didn’t want to be confined. He liked living outside. Every situation is different. Until we speak to someone we don’t know their story and if they need or want help.

Perhaps you don’t want to speak with a homeless person, or give them money, thinking they will use it for drugs or alcohol and some will. You can give them food or leave food in gathering places, leave clothes or blankets. We aren’t being asked to place our attention on all the homeless or ones in need. Ask what you should do and how you can help and how much. Don’t allow this to take attention from another service you are being called to do to help with the greater process of Ascension for Earth and Humanity.

Everything is about Balance within us and in our lives. Attention is a big part of this process for our attention is required to manifest what we need for ourselves and our spiritual growth and service. If we are placing it on things which are distracting us from our purpose, then we are serving or benefiting no one.

If you have children they need attention for they are a choice you made and a commitment until they are adults. They are the future and deserve to be shown how to connect with their own spiritual direction. They deserve to be loved and guided and to learn to enjoy life. In this you are giving and receiving between yourself and your children in a balanced and harmonious way.

Seek guidance within as to where and how much of your attention to give any situation. Do not ignore the needs of others for we are all One and part of the same Source and need to help all to benefit from their inner connection.

It can seem a balancing act to just help someone, but you will learn to go with the flow as you follow your inner guidance. Just ask what to do in a situation and then follow your inner knowing, your heart guidance. A balance to help but to not take away their lesson or enable another to continue a destructive behavior and take of your time and energy to do so. A rich person can fund a project or center that gives a platform for ones called to help others to provide the needed services. A homeless person can volunteer to help clean the center and or serve in some way to give back for the help given and thus the giving and recieving is balanced.

Attention – inner guidance helps us to know where to place our attention to manifest the highest good and potential for all involved. Remember where we place our attention is what the universe believes we want and so they send the energy of manifestation to that upon which we focus.

I Am Mareya Shimayah Elohim

You Are Enough: Finding Inner Peace and Love

I believe that the energies coming to us as Mother Earth Ascends are awakening all Humanity. We are all awakening at differing rates and in differing ways. Those who align first will help on the physical leve by Being the Light they are to guide by example and sharing wisdom. Do not worry if you desire it will come. I truly believe only those who chose to stay in 3D duality will not make the transition. The goal is no one left behind. We are simply releasing the old for the new golden age to come.

YOU ARE ENOUGH AND YOU ARE LOVED.

There is nothing that you have done in this school of learning that stops the Love and compassion of the Universe from coming to you. That does not mean you will not have to balance those energies that were less than Divine. You may think you are good enough or wise enough to do that which you are inspired to do . Perhaps you believe you are not good enough or worthy to Ascend. Know that if you desire and make the choice all you need to is ask. The help and guidance you need will come as you move into thoughts of Unity and compassion over fear and control.

Know within you exists the spark of the Creator just awaiting your aligning to it. Who you truly are is not this form. Your are made of Starlight and gold, you are the Light awaiting to expand into the Darkness.

Do not let the world tell you that you are less or deserve less. You are loved and you are enough. Turn you attention to the love and let within.

Take some time for yourself. Perhaps you have children and think you can’t. There must be a way. Ask your spouse and make a deal you each have a day for yourself while the other takes care of the children. No spouse or the other parent is unwilling to help, perhaps you have a friend or your parents who would help. You will never know unless you ask. You just might find they are more than willing to help to give you some time, a break to connect with your spirit and pamper and love yourself.

We cannot accept or love another until we find peace and love rfor ourself.

Please feel free to share you journey.

Why Self-Care is Not Selfish: Embracing Boundaries

In this world there seems to be be a split of givers and takers.

As we know over the last week, our goal is to come into balance and harmony in our lives. We need to balance the giving and the recieving, not taking. AH, revelation takers are selfish and receiving is balance. So is setting boundaries selfish? This is what we are going to look at today.

As life is a mirror or reflection to show us that which we need to look at within ourselves that causes us to react so to this topic was mirrored to me. I came across a video of a man who was sharing how he was so tired and hurt that in being a good person and helping others, he was continually used and left emotionally hurt and drained. It tugged at my heart as an empath and a giver myself. I don’t know if it was a real or fake video, but the message was clear for me. Then today as I walked by the television I heard a minister ask her audience how many believed being selfish was okay.

This I knew was the message that was going to be written today. For yesterday, I was told that it was important for me to begin to set boundaries, so that as I work in a more expanded way with people I do not allow the Giver/Caretaker energy within me to allow myself to be overwhelmed by takers. For you see it is not selfish to set boundaries or to receive. However, one must balance recieving and giving. I have the giving part down but the receiving or even asking for help has been a problem.

I discussed this a bit in yesterday’s message of how after my Father passed, I fel like I had to be strong and take care of others and didn’t ask for help. I find myself seeing a need a helping a person but not asking for help when I need it and feeling ackward when someone tries to help. In doing so, I am stopping the flow. The other part is that I tend to get connected with takers like this gentleman in the video and a part of me feels guilty to say ‘no’. So, my guides are saying it is time to learn to set boundaries. I am about to learn that lesson well in my life.

What they want me to know that it is not selfish to set boundaries. To do things when it works for you instead of when another demands it. It is not weak to ask for help, for even our teachers and guides are limited in helping us unless we ask. Givers need to take time to replenish their energy.

I need to learn that taking care of myself and my needs is not selfish unless I tend to always put myself before the needs of all others. It is finding the balance of being able to work, be of service, grow spiritually and enjoy life. For we are here to enjoy this beautiful planet upon which we live. Yesterday, we took the afternnon to go to the ocean. It was good and the water always helps to clear the old energies and bring peace and joy. This still left time to do a little work, share a message on my blog, and do some reading and meditating. Balance, I had a client call me that they needed help, in the past this call would have made me feel guilty for taking this time for myself. Instead I simply said I was out of the office and would do it if I got back in time that day or the next.

That may not seem like a big deal to many but for me it was a big step. I am simply taking things one day and event at a time. So balance comes in all forms in order to bring harmony into our lives. We give in service to help others but we need to be aware of takers who are selfish and set boundaries for keeping our mind, body, and emotions in balance, and our lives. We need to learn to recieve, to ask for help from others , and our guides and teachers so that we dont get overwhelmed. This is called self care, not selfishness, unless we expect our guides or others to do everything for us and we fail to put forth any effort to clear, learn and grow.

So, I would tell that man that represented myself, to not stop being a good and caring person who helps others, but to stop and set boundaries. Help others in a way that allows you to care for your needs and find balance in your lfie. Ask for help if you become overwhelmed and it will come. For you are a good person and deserve to receive help as much as you give help. To love yourself is a priority for others to love you in a healthy, and balanced manner.

Remember we attract to us that which vibrates at the same level as ourselves. If we are putting out signals that we are not worthy of receiving but only giving then we will attract the selfish takers. Sometimes it is a need to find validation outside of ourselves that we are a good person, that we make a point of giving in an unbalanced manner to others. Perhaps it feeds our ego when they are appreciative and makes us feel good about ourselves instead of simply doing it because we are all one and in helping another we are helping a part of ourselves and the Creator Source of All Life.

So we need to be aware of our motive in giving and being of service. We need to spend some self time in quiet seeking within to see what is my motivation, and why do I do this? Is it selfless or do I get a reward? Do I need to set boundaries, or clear some old beliefs and emotions? Go into the quiet and ask for help to see and understand. Ask for help to clear any blockages or unbalanced energy. Heal your wounds and balance you mind, body, emotions and spirit. Give to others from a place of service and caring without reward. Yet set boundaries that are healthy for yourself so that you do not become overwhelmed.

Remember you don’t have to do it all yourself. Ask, whether it be from your guides or from another person for help yourself. You need to balance giving and receiving to grow spiritually.

I Am Mareya Shimayah Elohim

Navigating the Challenges of Empathy

Just when I think I have it the energies and emotions of the world coming at me under control, another image of an abused or dying animal pops up. Perhaps it is the image of a homeless or the tragedy of people who have lost their homes to a natural disaster.

There is so much pain and suffering in the world. The life of empaths are hard, because we feel the pain of others. It requires a lot of effort to stay in compassion for others without allowing the energies of pain they feel to come flooding into us.

Some may think this makes us weak, and yet I would rather be able to have empathy for the pain and suffering for it keeps me aware of where energy is needed to help lift the lower energies, rather than be so focused on myself, that I judge the pain and suffering of others as not being worthy of my compassion.

It is a delicate balance that requires mindfulness to see others in need, care about them and not get caught up in the emotional turmoil they are experiencing and the pain. It is about learning to connect to our higher self, and the higher perspective to see what is the best way to help in this situation.

When we are living in heart and mind coherence, it means that our soul which connects through our higher heart to guide us can send us the highest possible actions and solutions in any situation. Then we can see what needs to be done on the physical level to complete that process.

Compassion and inner guidance of a higher perspective are the key to mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically staying in balance and acting from this place instead of reacting to the emotions or energies of the situation. It is a process and requires us to take responsibility for our thoughts, words and deeds. It requires us to learn to move into our heart to seek the highest solution to any challenge. From here the Universe can work through us for the greatest good of all life.

Empathy is a wonderful gift in making us aware that someone or something around us is out of balance and in need of help. Then we can go into our heart, connect with them from a higher soul perspective to give the care and service that will best help them in this situation. Whether this is a person or an animal, it is not good to act from an emotional level of pain and turmoil. Once you feel it move up and in and you will find the greater part.

I hope this helps some of the empaths, who are having a hard time right now. I know it isn’t always an easy gift to handle, but it is a gift to help you to be of service in this world. You are loved, and you are needed, in this world of hatred, anger. judgment and violence, don’t let them take away your joy in living and connecting with others.

Quan Yin the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion: ‘Compassion Dear Ones is about recognizing that we are all part of the same whole. Each person is living and acting in accordance to that which they know and believe to be true. If one is aware that what they are doing is not of the highest choice, they will seek to act accordingly. Forgiveness, begins within you. Another cannot hurt you unless you allow them to do so. The pain you experience from their words or actions are your reaction to them based on your beliefs and fears. See them as a mirror, reflecting that which is within you still that reacts and needs to be released. Then choose to do so. Forgive yourself for reacting, and forgive them for their actions so that you can be free. Have compassion for them as they are like yourself journeying upon their path, and you must allow them as you want to be allowed to do so along your path. Release any old feelings of hurt and resentment and know that when you are free, what another says and does can no longer hurt you for there is nothing within you to react. Then you will find they stop trying. As to the pain of war, neglect, violence and abuse, it is not something that you alone can correct in the world. You can only do your part by helping to ease the pain and suffering of ones when you are aware, without judging them or the situation. You can send the light and protection of the higher realms to be in the situation to help ease the energies, transform and lift them up. When enough people do the same, a great transformation can occur. We are not responsible for the actions of another, only for our actions and reactions. You are aware as an empath of the pain of others in order to be of Service. However, you cannot serve when you go down to the level of pain they are experiencing, you must bring in a higher love, compassion and understanding in a balanced state to help them to ease their pain mentally, emotionally, and physically. Do what you can, when you are made aware, from this place of love within you. I Am Quan Yin

I AM Mareya Shimayah Elohim together with Quan Yin