Tag: love

Digging Deeper

Part 8 – Realization and Peace

This has been an interesting journey. I am deeply thankful both to have experienced it and to have received help in understanding what the experience was revealing.

The unknown can be a frightening place to enter. The mind wants to protect us, and the body responds to that fear. It takes a conscious choice to move through the moment of fear and discover what the unknown may hold.

Along the way, I noticed that the trilogy was not the only expression of three appearing within this journey. On both occasions when I spoke with Isis, she offered three thoughts for me to ponder. The initiation itself brought three aspects of me into conscious Unity.

The pieces began to align. As we embody our Presence, we become a living trinity. The child born of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine energies of Creation steps into its birthright.

333

The first number upon the card: three aspects becoming One.

The throne and the initiation concerned the meeting of the Presence of my Being with my human self—the unification expressed through the number eight: as above, so below.

That which had appeared to be at odds or in opposition had to be brought into Balance and Harmony. The infinity loop became the embodiment of opposites held within one continuous flow: ∞

I see it as the above and below joining at the center, then reaching outward into the world.

When did this begin? On my seventy-first birthday—an eight.

888

The second number upon the card: Presence embodied—as above, so below.

So where do I go from here?

I am completing one period of my life. I release what served me and shaped my focus for so many years, and I open the door to embrace a new beginning.

I heard Isis invite me to embrace this time of freedom from old structures.

This can be a season of wisdom, whether we are women or men. We have seen much and lived much. We can meet life with the patience and peace to witness what is unfolding and allow what is needed to arrive in Divine timing.

This journey of Digging Deeper revealed what had been standing in the way. It also revealed the meaning of the hand I kept placing upon my chest: the invitation to pause, listen within, and ask who was leading.

Although this is my personal story, I believe the invitation within it belongs to all of us.. I believe we have all traveled through many lifetimes and timelines. We each have loving Beings ready to respond when we call, yet we must also be willing to open the door and take our place upon the throne.

For me, this time, it was Isis. She embodies the archetype of the Divine Feminine—an energy deeply needed in the world today.

I spent the first half of my life closely connected with Divine Masculine archetypes. I now realize that I looked to them because I believed they were the ones who could keep me safe and help transform the injustices arising from the lower expressions of duality.

Within each of us, the masculine and feminine aspects of duality may struggle. The Divine Feminine is not returning to take control of the world. She comes to soften the heart so that we may receive the Unity of the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine within ourselves, bringing greater Balance and Harmony into the world.

Power struggles and control have come through both women and men, although women have historically been more suppressed. At one point in this journey, I sought forgiveness from the Father aspect of the Creator because I had felt abandoned here.

I did not know what I had done wrong—or whether I simply had not done enough. I carried a memory that those in authority would not listen when I tried to warn them about their actions. Everything fell apart, and I was trapped. It felt as though an aspect of me had remained enclosed within a bubble of time, holding a focus to which I had once agreed but did not remember until this year.

That experience imprinted anger toward authority deeply within me—as though it had entered my very DNA. Digging Deeper finally carried the healing to the cellular level. I no longer need the Protector to lead. The Protector is honored and can now walk beside me as we move forward together in peace.

My perspective on world events has shifted.

I also find that the need to do has come into greater balance. Yesterday, something remained on my to-do list. In the past, I would have pushed myself to complete it regardless of how I felt.

This time, I placed it where I could see it and blessed it to be completed from a place of peace rather than demand. Instead, I followed the inspiration to write. I also sat quietly on the porch with the kitties and my husband, simply enjoying the day.

New ideas began to flow, but I am taking baby steps.

You see, there is all the time in the world—but not a moment to waste.

I no longer hear my mother’s voice saying, “If you cannot find something to do, just ask, and I will show you what to do.”

I understand Isis—as I understand any guide, teacher, or guardian angel—to be an expression of consciousness offering a path and perspective they know well when we ask. Yet I had to ask, and I also had to give my conscious consent to bring the Presence of my Being and my human mind into Unity.

My mind is quieter now. The urgency is gone.

I will meet each moment and each event in the now.

999

Completion and new beginnings: the former cycle released, the new left open.

The oracle card has now revealed itself.

I am at Peace.

I am open to what comes next, but I have no need to seek it out.

I know it will come when the time is right.

Digging Deeper

Part 7 – Initiation

Divine timing is always interesting. Although all of this coincided with a trilogy I had watched, I felt called to look back a little further. On my birthday, I had a conversation with Isis—one I had nearly forgotten.

She spoke with a calm and embracing grace:

“You have reached your seventy-first year. It carries the number eight—as above, so below—the embodiment of the Presence of your Being. Is this not fulfillment?”

“In modern society, people often look at those who have reached a certain age and see only their wrinkles or limitations of movement, pushing them quietly to the side. Yet your body is the fulfillment of the path you have walked and of all you are becoming.”

“Every challenge you have faced, every heartbreak you have felt, every dark night of the soul, and every initiation has helped prepare you for mastery.”

The same is true, no matter your age.

Ask yourself: What am I becoming?

“A Master who embodies the Higher Presence.”

“This requires consent. One must consent to union with the Presence. This is called the Sacred Marriage.”

“Within this Sacred Marriage, the energies of the Source of Creation flow through your Presence in form and into the world. It begins to change everything—how you speak, how you move, and what you are capable of creating.”

“I would tell you to stop prioritizing others over yourself. Be in the stillness. Take time to do nothing. At first, it may be uncomfortable, but allow yourself not to do—simply Be.”

“Your body is a temple of the Presence, not merely a vehicle for moving through the world. Each scar and each limitation carries the history of who you are.”

Isis stood and offered one final thought:

“Do something that scares you—not something dangerous, but something that carries you beyond the familiar. Wear something you normally would not wear. Take a class or join a group you have considered but never entered. Step outside your comfort zone. Allow yourself to expand.”

We embraced, and she was gone.

I wondered why this conversation had suddenly returned to me. Then I received an email from a woman who offers wound-healing classes. She was inviting people to an 888 Lion’s Gate meditation, and I decided to sign up.

Interestingly, only a few hours later, she sent another email explaining that Spirit had transformed the class into an Initiation of Leadership.

I was already registered. I had wanted to exchange energies within a group meditation on 888, so I remained open to whatever might unfold.

As the appointed time approached, she sent us a guide we could use afterward to reflect upon what we had experienced. It explained that, during the initiation, we would connect with both the Protector and the Conscious Leader.

As I moved more deeply into the meditation and reached the temple, I found three chairs. One was already occupied, while the other two remained empty. I sat in one of the vacant chairs, and the guide introduced me to the being seated before me.

They were called the Protector.

I understood that the Protector represented my human ego-mind. This part of me had worked faithfully to shield me from harm, change, and fear. It had done whatever it believed necessary to keep me on the known path, because the known path felt safe. To the Protector, the new and unknown could only be dangerous.

The guide suggested that I ask the Protector to show me a situation in which they had kept me safe. They did.

After witnessing the event, I thanked the Protector—not only for what they had done in that moment, but for every time they had tried to keep me from harm.

Then another being entered the room from outside. They introduced themselves as the Conscious Leader.

The Conscious Leader also thanked the Protector for keeping me safe. They explained that they had come to bring Grace, conscious knowing, and  the wisdom of the highest action and benefit. Yet the choice to merge with this Presence had to be made consciously by me. If I consented, all of us would walk the path forward together.

I turned to the Protector and told them how grateful I was for their Presence. They no longer needed to lead the way. From this moment forward, we could walk and work together in Unity and Oneness.

There was one more step in the initiation.

Hand in hand, we entered another room, where a throne awaited me. I approached it, and the Conscious Leader asked whether I was ready.

I said yes.

She then placed a gift upon my right hand. For me, it appeared as a sigil.

When it was time to return, we walked hand in hand to the foot of the staircase that led back to waking consciousness.

As I awoke, I contemplated all that had happened.

For me, this initiation had been another layer of the deeper dive—an opportunity to understand and release. I began to see more clearly the relationship between the human mind, the Protector, and the Conscious Leader: my Presence and the flow of Divine Love and compassion I understand as Universal Mind.

I realize that not everyone will agree with the idea that Universal Mind is Divine Love and compassion. But this was the perspective I needed in order to see what had kept me from turning the handle and walking through the door; what rose in anger when authority was abused; what made me afraid to speak my truth fully for fear of repercussion; and what had kept me small.

It revealed the final lock between my heart and my human mind.

Yet the Deeper Dive still had more to tell me.

The Deeper Dive

Part 6 – The Mystic Rising and the Divine Feminine Flowing

I hardly know what to share next.

The one who had been standing outside the temple had finally unlocked the door.

Turned the handle.

Entered.

And then…

chosen to sit upon the throne.

Well…

perhaps chosen is not quite the right word.

Isis gave me a little nudge.

Not a forceful one.

It reminded me of gently encouraging a small child who hesitates at the doorway on the first day of school.

The child doesn’t know what waits on the other side.

There are questions.

Possibilities.

Perhaps even a little fear.

But they trust the person standing behind them enough to take that first step.

That was Isis.

And that was me.

Now I had taken my seat upon the throne.

I sat quietly for a moment, trying to absorb everything that had happened.

Then Isis said something that made me smile.

“The only thing that had been holding you back…”

“…was your own hand upon your own chest.”

There it was.

No locked temple.

No guardian refusing me entrance.

No initiation I still needed to complete.

No one telling me I wasn’t ready.

Only me.

So naturally, my next thought was:

Now what?

I don’t know about you, but whenever I begin something new—a project, a trip, a hike, even a new direction in life—my mind immediately wants a little information.

Where are we going?

What should I bring?

Which road should I take?

Where are the best views?

What am I supposed to do when I get there?

Perhaps that doesn’t sound very much like going with the flow.

But it is part of my process.

So I asked.

Isis smiled and gave me three things to contemplate.

Speak with full authority.

Create from the overflow, not the wound.

Stop asking and start declaring.

I sat with the first statement.

What did it mean to speak with full authority?

I had spent the previous days examining my relationship with authority—especially the misuse of authority through earthly systems, institutions, religions, and individuals.

Now Isis was showing me another side of it.

Authority did not have to mean authority over another.

It could mean being fully present within myself.

Recognizing my own sovereignty.

Standing within what I know and allowing myself to speak from there.

I have long experienced myself as a channel for energy and wisdom, connecting through my Higher Self Presence with Oneness and with what I understand as Beings and energies of higher dimensions.

Suddenly I understood more deeply what Isis had meant when she described the throne as the seat of a transducer.

A transducer receives one form of energy and translates it into another form that can be received and used.

That image made sense to me.

When I connect with the energies of the grids or with a presence such as Isis, I experience myself receiving a particular expression of Oneness and allowing it to move through my own Being into the Earth.

And perhaps the same is true whenever any of us touches another person’s life.

Something moves through each of us that is uniquely ours.

Another person may receive what resonates…

and leave the rest.

No authority over them is required.

Only the willingness to stand fully within ourselves.

Once again, I found myself remembering the revelations about anger and authority from the previous days.

During my grounding work, much of my focus had been upon reclaiming sovereignty from external systems and authority.

Now another layer was appearing.

Perhaps sovereignty was not only about what I was releasing myself from.

Perhaps it was also about what I was finally willing to stand within.

Then Isis returned to her second statement.

Create from the overflow, not the wound.

For much of my life, my seeking had begun with questions.

Why do I feel this way?

What needs healing?

What must I understand?

What still needs clearing?

There is nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes seeking is exactly where the journey begins.

But Isis was asking me to recognize when the cup had become full enough that I no longer needed to create from hunger.

I could create from nourishment.

Not because every wound had disappeared.

Not because I had become perfect.

But because the wound no longer needed to hold the pen.

That stopped me.

The wound no longer needed to hold the pen.

I could write because something within me was overflowing.

I could share because there was something to share.

I could love without believing love required me to empty myself.

Perhaps that was the difference between seeking medicine…

and becoming nourishment.

Then came the third statement.

Stop asking and start declaring.

This one challenged me.

For years, much of my spiritual language had been the language of asking.

Seeking.

Petitioning.

Waiting.

Isis spoke again.

“You have asked long enough.”

“Now learn to speak from what you know.”

I began to understand that declaring did not mean demanding that life obey me.

It did not mean controlling another person’s choices.

And it certainly did not mean that every desire I spoke would magically appear.

It meant something quieter…

and perhaps more difficult.

It meant no longer whispering my own truth as though I needed permission to speak it.

Instead of asking,

Am I worthy?

I could say,

I AM worthy.

Instead of asking,

Am I ready?

I AM ready.

Instead of wondering whether I belonged…

I belong.

Instead of waiting for someone to tell me I could enter…

I AM HERE.

I sat quietly and allowed those words to settle.

Something fundamental was shifting within me.

The trilogy of authority I had been moving through was no longer simply showing me what needed to be released.

It was revealing what could take its place.

Sovereignty.

Presence.

Inner authority.

But Isis wasn’t finished.

There was something else she wanted me to understand.

She looked at me and said,

“I was present at your birth.”

I became very still.

She continued.

“I have walked beside you throughout this lifetime, just as you experience yourself as having walked with me through other lifetimes and timelines.”

“In those experiences, you learned what you understand as the wisdom of the Divine Feminine and the mysteries of magic.”

“You remember yourself taking initiations.”

“Standing as High Priestess within my temple in Egypt.”

“Singing songs and tones intended to awaken something within those who heard them.”

“You chose to explore those mysteries again in this lifetime.”

“That is why you experience me as having been beside you.”

“Guiding.”

“Waiting.”

“Until you were ready to remember.”

Then she smiled.

“It has been a long journey…”

“…and a long wait.”

I laughed.

I knew exactly what she meant.

Earlier she had told me I had been ready for more than fifty years.

And still…

she had needed to nudge me toward the throne.

Then her expression softened.

“The veil between us has been there for a long time.”

“Now it is gone.”

And suddenly I understood.

This was the Mystic Rising.

Not because I had acquired some new mystical ability.

Not because someone had initiated me into something I had not possessed before.

The Mystic rose when I finally chose to take my place within my own Presence.

And when I did…

something else became possible.

The energy could move.

Heaven toward Earth.

Spirit through form.

Wisdom into expression.

Love into action.

Creation into life.

This was the Divine Feminine Flowing.

Isis continued.

She spoke of the need, in this time, for what she described as Divine Feminine energy to help bring greater balance to expressions of authority shaped by separation and domination.

Not feminine instead of masculine.

Not one replacing the other.

Balance.

An authority rooted not only in strength…

but in the heart.

A strength that does not need to dominate in order to know itself.

A love that does not need to sacrifice itself in order to prove that it cares.

A mind no longer convinced that everyone else must be feared.

I felt another one of those familiar aha moments beginning.

And somewhere inside I knew…

there was more.

Isis smiled.

We embraced.

Then, as she prepared to leave, she handed me a card.

On it were three numbers, written vertically:

333

888

999

I stared at them.

I didn’t know what they meant.

Not yet.

But after everything that had happened…

I had learned something.

Sometimes you don’t need to understand the next piece immediately.

Sometimes…

you simply notice.

And wait to see what happens next.

The Deeper Dive

Part 5 – Isis Revealed

Sometimes the greatest revelations arrive while we are simply living our lives.

We listen.

We notice.

We follow one question into another.

And then, suddenly, something that has been waiting quietly within us rises into awareness.

An aha.

During the past few days, as I continued digging deeper into everything that had been revealed, one phrase kept returning to me:

The Mystic Is Rising and the Divine Feminine Flows.

I had already been feeling the desire to bring more of the mystic and the magic back into my life.

For a time, I had placed much of that aside while focusing upon clearing, healing, and grounding. Those things had been important, but something within me was beginning to stir.

I was ready for more.

I didn’t want magic simply for the sake of something mystical or “woo woo.”

I longed for the magic of Creation.

The magic of Oneness.

The place where Heaven and Earth meet within us and joy becomes something that can flow through our lives into the world.

I had spent enough time grounding.

Something within me was ready to put on wings and fly.

And whenever these thoughts arose, I kept sensing Isis.

That made sense to me. I have long associated her with magic, healing, motherhood, and the Divine Feminine.

So I decided to sit quietly and see whether she wished to speak.

The moment I settled into stillness, she was there.

There was no need for me to ask a question.

It felt as though she had been waiting.

Then she spoke.

“It is time to stop preparing.”

I sat with those words for a moment.

“What do you mean?”

Her answer came immediately.

“You keep telling yourself there is something else you must clear.”

“Something else you must heal.”

“Some perfect alignment that must occur.”

“Perhaps you are waiting for a sign.”

She paused.

“Or permission.”

“Permission from someone to step forward and sit upon the throne.”

I remained silent.

“You tell others they do not need to be perfect,” she continued, “yet you continue expecting perfection from yourself.”

Then came the words I was not prepared to hear.

“You have been ready for more than fifty years.”

“I have been waiting for you to stop circling the temple…”

“…and take your place.”

I sat in silence.

I had no words.

Finally, I whispered,

“I don’t understand.”

And suddenly I was remembering something that had happened more than twenty-five years earlier.

I was standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean near San Simeon, California.

My husband and I had often gone there when we wanted to escape the congestion and intensity of Southern California. I had also visited the area many times while doing energy work with grids and ley lines.

On this particular trip, I was traveling with a friend.

The day’s work was finished, and we had gone to the cliffs simply to relax and watch the sunset over the Pacific.

There was a flat place on the clifftop that had always drawn me.

Whenever I stood there, I sensed a temple.

I could never see it clearly.

I simply knew it was there.

That evening I found myself once again standing where I sensed its doorway would have been.

My friend asked what I was experiencing.

I told him.

He suggested that I walk the perimeter of the temple and follow what I felt.

So I began walking.

Slowly.

As I moved along the boundaries, memories began to surface.

Other temples.

Other times.

Other places.

I remembered something called stretching the cord—establishing the corners and boundaries of a temple and aligning it to its proper direction and dimensions.

Then came another memory.

Sound.

I remembered singing tones that helped establish the stones and the energetic structure of the temple.

Yet there was something else within those memories.

Something painful.

No matter how many temples I remembered helping to establish…

I was always standing outside the door.

Waiting.

Never entering.

I continued walking until I had completed the perimeter and returned to the doorway.

Then something happened that I had not expected.

My friend walked into the energetic temple.

He slowly walked its inner perimeter and then moved toward the center.

He turned toward me.

And invited me inside.

I began to weep.

I had waited for that invitation for what felt like eternity.

I stepped forward slowly.

One step.

Then another.

I entered the temple.

I walked the inner perimeter just as he had done, feeling the energies and allowing the memories to move through me.

Then, without saying anything, my friend quietly left.

He allowed me to remain there alone.

Inside.

For the first time in this life, I felt something I had struggled for years to understand.

I felt the love of Source.

I felt forgiven.

Until that moment, some part of me had carried the feeling that I had been abandoned upon the Earth.

I had never really understood why.

Now, more than twenty-five years later, as I relived that moment, Isis spoke again.

“You have tended your temple for decades.”

“You have kept its energies pure.”

“You have shared wisdom.”

“You have encouraged others.”

She paused.

“But you have never taken your place upon the throne.”

Again, I was stunned.

“What do you mean?”

“You have done the work,” she said.

“Not only in this lifetime.”

“You have cleared.”

“You have served.”

“You have walked the initiations.”

“You have been ready for a very long time.”

“I have simply waited for you to remember…”

“…that you are worthy.”

“…that you belong.”

“…and that the throne within the temple of your Higher Heart is yours to occupy.”

She placed a staff into my hands.

Suddenly, I was standing before a throne.

“Listen,” she said.

In the distance, I heard the rhythm of drums…

and the delicate sound of the sistrum.

Then I felt her hand gently touch my back.

A small nudge forward.

She sensed the question before I could speak it.

“The throne represents your sovereignty.”

“Not earthly power.”

“Not authority over another.”

“It is the steady seat of your own Presence.”

“The place where you become a bridge between Heaven and Earth.”

She looked at me.

“The throne is not something you must earn.”

“It is your birthright as a flame of Creation.”

“Accept who you are.”

“Allow the wisdom and the Light to flow through you.”

I stood quietly before her.

So much emotion was moving through me that I knew I needed time before our conversation could continue.

We still had not spoken about the words that had brought me to her:

The Mystic Is Rising and the Divine Feminine Flows.

Or had we?

We bowed to one another.

Then we embraced.

And suddenly I was alone again with my thoughts.

But the questions remained.

Do I still believe I must become perfect before I am worthy?

Am I waiting for a sign that says I am ready?

Am I waiting for some perfect alignment before I allow myself to move forward?

Am I waiting for another person, teacher, guide, or authority to give me permission to connect with my own Inner Presence?

Do I stand outside my own temple waiting to be invited inside?

Do I circle it…

clean it…

tend it…

serve those who enter…

while quietly looking toward the throne and wondering whether one day I might be worthy enough to sit there?

What doubt still keeps me standing at the doorway?

As I finally sat upon the throne and allowed those questions to move through me, I knew more experiences were still to come.

But something fundamental had changed.

For so long, I had believed I was preparing to become ready.

Now I began to understand:

I had been ready.

The temple had been waiting.

The throne had been waiting.

And perhaps…

so had I.

The Deeper Dive

Part 3 – Hidden in the Depths

Sometimes we simply need to step away from our everyday routines and lose ourselves in a story.

Most of us have done it at one time or another—curling up on a rainy afternoon or a cold winter evening to watch an old favorite.

For me, the next piece of this unfolding journey came through an old movie my husband had watched years before. He suggested we watch it together, so one Saturday evening we settled in, expecting nothing more than an enjoyable film.

Instead, another layer of the veil quietly lifted.

The movie was called Goliath Awaits.

It tells the story of a luxury cruise liner torpedoed during World War II. The ship sank and disappeared beneath the ocean, lost for more than forty years.

Eventually, a research vessel discovered the wreck.

As divers approached, they heard something impossible.

Someone was tapping out an SOS from inside the ship.

Curious, they carefully cleared the thick layer of marine growth covering one of the portholes. Suddenly, the hatch swung open.

A young girl looked out in surprise…

…then quickly closed it again.

A rescue mission began.

To everyone’s astonishment, they discovered that an entire society had survived within a sealed section of the ship.

Over the decades they had built a functioning community.

There was order.

Everyone had work.

Each person contributed according to their role, and those roles had passed from one generation to the next.

At first glance, it seemed remarkable.

Yet beneath the surface another reality slowly emerged.

The society was ruled through fear.

Those who questioned authority disappeared.

Those who rebelled were eliminated.

Those who became ill or could no longer contribute were quietly removed because they were considered a burden on the community.

The outward appearance of harmony concealed an undercurrent of violence that many had learned to ignore simply to survive.

As the rescuers uncovered the truth, they also discovered something else.

The leaders had no desire to be rescued.

They wanted to preserve the world they controlled.

They warned everyone about the dangers of the surface world, convincing many that remaining below was safer than risking the unknown.

Yet the irony was heartbreaking.

The ship itself was dying.

Its power source was failing.

Time was running out.

Still, those in authority denied reality because acknowledging it would mean surrendering the control they had spent decades protecting.

When the opportunity to leave finally came, some eagerly chose freedom.

Others chose to remain.

Not because they were evil.

Not because they were foolish.

But because the familiar can sometimes feel safer than hope.

Eventually, those who wished to leave were rescued.

Those who remained stayed with the only world they had ever known.

The leaders destroyed what was left of the ship.

As the credits rolled, I found myself sitting quietly.

What surprised me most was not anger.

It was sadness.

I knew the story was fictional.

Yet it didn’t feel impossible.

In many ways, I admired what the survivors had accomplished together. Against overwhelming odds they had built a functioning community through ingenuity, cooperation, and shared purpose.

Working together, humanity is capable of extraordinary things.

We witness it after natural disasters.

During times of tragedy.

Whenever compassion rises above division.

So why does it often take catastrophe to awaken our willingness to care for one another?

Then another realization surfaced.

Just as in the dream…

Just as on the sacred mountain…

There was another hidden world beneath the surface.

Once again, appearances concealed something deeper.

And once again…

The story quietly became about me.

So I sat with the questions that arose.

What am I willing to tolerate, even when my heart knows it is not for the highest good, simply because it offers comfort, safety, or acceptance?

Do I sometimes mistake familiarity for truth?

Do I remain silent because I believe my voice cannot make a difference?

Where is the line between speaking from my Being…

…and interfering with another person’s journey?

Where is the line between helping…

…and trying to rescue?

Have I aligned deeply enough with my own Presence to recognize the difference?

Do I help another because it serves them…

…or because it comforts me?

Do I cling so tightly to what I believe is true…

…that I fail to notice the cracks opening to reveal something even greater?

Do I ever look to another for answers…

…at the cost of my own sovereignty?

Do I fear the unknown so much that I cling to the familiar…

…even when my soul is quietly inviting me into a larger world?

Those questions stayed with me.

They lingered long after the movie ended.

One question, in particular, continued echoing within me.

It eventually led me into a conversation with Isis.

For several days, one phrase had been quietly repeating itself within my thoughts.

The Mystic Is Rising.

The Divine Feminine Is Flowing.

So I finally asked what it meant.

What unfolded next became another layer of this journey.

Perhaps we will explore it together in Part 4.

The Deeper Dive

Part 2 – The Sacred Mountain

Later that day, while I was working, I noticed that one of my favorite storytellers had posted a new YouTube video. I had reached the point where my mind needed a break, so I settled in to watch, not realizing it would become another piece of the puzzle that had begun with my dream.

The story followed two young men whose friend had left home after telling his family he felt called to a sacred mountain. Concerned for his safety, his parents asked the young men to find him and bring him home.

They discovered him in a mountain region that many spiritual traditions considered holy.

At the foot of the mountain was a small village filled with shops, books, and people eager to share their beliefs. Higher up the mountain were others who had chosen a different path. They lived simply, camping among the trees, waiting patiently for a sign that would allow them to enter the mystery they believed lay hidden within the mountain.

Although the two groups lived very different lives, they shared something in common.

Both believed that something extraordinary waited within the mountain.

Both believed they had to become worthy before they could enter.

Some sought worthiness through sacrifice and poverty.

Others through teachings, books, and the outward expression of their beliefs.

Different paths…

The same longing.

When the young men finally found their friend, he refused to leave. Instead, he insisted they continue to the summit, convinced they would understand why he had come.

Reluctantly, they began the climb.

Along the way, they encountered a young woman who had become ill. As they stopped to help her, her brother appeared. Together they carried her back to safety.

After thanking them, the brother and sister quietly disappeared.

When the young men returned to camp, their friend was excited by what they described, yet he still would not leave. They had not reached the summit.

Word quickly spread through the camp and eventually reached the village below.

Soon a crowd gathered, demanding to be shown where this mysterious encounter had taken place.

The young men led them back to the location.

But when the crowd found neither the brother and sister nor the hidden entrance they had expected, disappointment quickly became anger.

Anger became fear.

Fear became violence.

Watching the scene unfold, something unsettled me.

How could people who had devoted so much of their lives to seeking the sacred become so consumed by anger when they did not receive what they expected?

My first response was to judge them.

Then, almost immediately, I realized I was looking into a mirror.

The story was no longer about them.

It had quietly become about me.

So I sat with the questions that began to arise.

Do I seek solitude because I genuinely love stillness…

…or because I am trying to escape the discomfort of seeing parts of myself reflected through others?

Do I truly witness and allow…

…or only until someone believes differently than I do?

When another person’s beliefs challenge my own…

…do I remain in peace?

Do I quietly believe I must still prove my worth?

Do I wear masks I no longer recognize?

Is there any trace of spiritual pride still hidden within me?

Am I searching outside myself for permission…

…to become the Presence I already am?

I didn’t have answers to those questions.

Not yet.

But something had begun to move within me.

The momentum that had started with the dream continued to gather strength, as though each experience was gently removing another layer of volcanic ash that had covered something waiting to be remembered.

That evening, my husband and I decided to watch an old movie called Goliath Awaits.

I had no idea that it, too, would reveal another layer.

Perhaps we will discover it together in Part 3.

The Journey

It has been a couple of weeks since my last post. I have been writing and journaling, yet it seems I needed to come through to the other side of my journey before sharing. I say this because I did try a couple of times to post, but something would go wrong with WordPress or with my connection, and I was unable to do so. I have learned that, for me, this usually means there is still more clarity needed before the message is ready. Time itself can feel so irrelevant, unless we are held by an appointment, a deadline, or regular working hours.

As I awoke this morning, I was reminded of these truths: wisdom, love, purity, sovereignty, unity, power, and Being. I heard them as noble states of Being. I am not sure I fully understand what that means, but I do understand, at least for myself, that they are Truths, or states of embodied consciousness, through which we pass as we return into the pure Oneness of Presence.

Wisdom and love are the foundation, and they must live in balance. Wisdom allows us to discern from a higher perspective. Love brings compassion and caring for all life without the need to control or judge. Love tempers wisdom so it does not become cold, controlling, or judgmental. Wisdom tempers love so we can care deeply while still honoring the value of self in balance with the value of others. It is wisdom that helps us recognize when boundaries are needed, and love that helps us set them without closing the heart.

When wisdom and love are active in our lives, even while we are still learning to bring them into clearer focus and balance, we become more aware of the beliefs, energies, blockages, and insights we still carry. We begin to see what needs to be evaluated within our lives with love for self, love for others, and the wisdom to discern what is truly being shown. For me, this time has been a journey of digging deeper and seeing levels that were previously hidden or pushed back into the shadows of my mind.

As these limits are cleared and transformed, we begin to reclaim our power of choice, discernment, and direction. We may realize that some of the paths, voices, or structures we were taught to follow no longer serve what we now feel called to embody. This is personal sovereignty coming alive within us: the ability to make choices that serve our highest good while also honoring the good of all life. In this, we also begin to step into our personal power.

Power, when it is not tempered by love and wisdom, becomes control. True power is not force. It is the ability to know Truth through discernment and to witness actions without needing to judge them through the limited lens of the human mind. Through higher wisdom, we begin to understand how each soul learns to make choices from its own place of sovereignty. We remember that we are Presence, not only human mind and form. We remember that all possibilities exist within us as we walk in unity with our Presence, and there is no greater power on Earth than that remembrance.

In this remembrance, we come into balance with the masculine and feminine energies of the Source of Creation and Oneness within ourselves. The masculine is action, direction, and movement. The feminine is nurturing, compassion, and creation. They are no longer competing, but moving in harmony and balance. This harmony braids the unity of our human mind and form with the Presence that is our pure Spirit, the Christ energy of our Being. These are the energies that bring us back into Oneness and into Being that which we truly are and have always been.

We simply forgot for a while here on Earth. Now, we remember.

I realize that what I have been writing and experiencing over these last couple of weeks will now be seen through a new perspective, and this includes the book I am writing. Why? Because I have a new view of myself and the world.

When Grounding Feels Heavy: Remembering the Return of Magic

The grounded Mystic.

When Grounding Feels Heavy: Remembering the Return of Magic

There was a moment of realization that came quietly, but with clarity.

For weeks, my thoughts had felt foggy.
Inspiration had softened, and the joy of exploring, learning, and sharing had faded into something that felt more like obligation than wonder.

At first, I could not name it.

But this morning, I saw it clearly.

In my focus on embodiment, I had leaned deeply into grounding.
Into presence.
Into being here, in the body, in the earth.

And while this was necessary… something had been left behind.

The magic.

Grounding is often spoken of as the answer.
A way to stabilize, to anchor, to come fully into the present moment.

But grounding, on its own, is not the whole.

When it stands alone for too long, it can begin to feel heavy.
Dense.
Even dull.

Not because grounding is wrong…

but because it was never meant to exist without its counterpart.

There is a natural balance within us:

The Earth… and the Sky.
The Body… and the Breath of inspiration.
Presence… and Wonder.

When these move together, life feels alive.

When one is emphasized without the other, something begins to dim.

What I experienced was not a loss of inspiration.

It was an overcorrection.

A deep anchoring into the physical, without allowing the lightness of curiosity and exploration to continue flowing through it.

And so, life began to feel like something to manage… rather than something to experience.

The return was simple.

Not through effort.
Not through trying to “fix” anything.

But through allowing curiosity back in.

A small question:

What feels interesting right now?

Not productive.
Not necessary.
Simply… interesting.

In that moment, something shifted.

The breath softened.
The mind opened.
And a quiet sense of aliveness began to return.

Not dramatically.

But gently… naturally.

I began to understand:

Magic is not separate from grounding.

It is what moves through it.

It is the light that gives presence its warmth.
The curiosity that gives embodiment its joy.

We are not meant to live only in stillness.

We are meant to be participants in life.

To explore.
To feel.
To follow what calls to us, even in the smallest ways.

Now, I return to a simple rhythm:

I ground into the moment…
and I allow curiosity to guide me within it.

I anchor…
and I explore.

I am present…
and I remain open.

And in that balance…

life begins to unfold again.

With ease.
With quiet guidance.
With a sense that I am not pushing forward…

but walking with something that is already moving.

If you have been feeling the weight of “doing everything right”…
if grounding has begun to feel more like effort than peace…

perhaps nothing has gone wrong.

Perhaps you are simply being invited to remember:

You are allowed to feel wonder again.

You are allowed to follow what feels light.

You are allowed to live your embodiment… not just hold it.

Return to the heart.
Allow the breath.
Follow what feels alive.

And let life unfold.

The Gift of Questions

Peace and harmony cannot flourish in our lives when we are governed by fear, doubt, and uncertainty about ourselves, others, or the world around us.

When uncertainty arises, the mind naturally searches for answers. Sometimes we hear a statement, read an article, watch a video, or listen to someone we trust, and we quickly accept it as truth because it eases our discomfort. It gives us something to hold onto and allows us to place our questions neatly into a box.

Once we believe we have found the answer, we often stop asking questions.

Yet growth has always begun with a willingness to question.

Throughout history there have been countless ideas, predictions, philosophies, scientific discoveries, and spiritual teachings that have competed for humanity’s attention. Some have proven insightful. Others have quietly faded away. Many have contained both wisdom and misunderstanding.

The question is not whether information exists.

The question is how we choose to meet it.

Every idea we embrace shapes the direction of our thoughts, our emotions, and ultimately our actions. Whatever we repeatedly focus upon begins to gather momentum within our lives. In this way, our attention becomes part of what we help create.

This is true whether our focus is rooted in fear or in hope.

It is equally true whether we are considering a scientific theory, a spiritual teaching, a political viewpoint, or a prediction about the future.

Can opposing possibilities exist at the same time?

I believe they can.

We witness this every day. One person chooses fear and separation. Another chooses compassion and unity. Both realities are being experienced simultaneously because each begins within the consciousness of the individual.

Manifestation begins with focus.

Our focus determines what we nourish.

Our intention determines what we help bring into the world.

Perhaps the most important question we can ask is not, “Is this true?” but rather, “How do I know?”

Before accepting any belief, pause and ask yourself:

  • Is this true?
  • What evidence supports it?
  • Does it bring clarity or only more fear?
  • Does it create peace within my heart?
  • Who benefits if I believe this?
  • Could another perspective also contain wisdom?
  • Is there a choice that benefits all life more fully?

Research.

Investigate.

Listen.

Reflect.

Then carry what you have learned into the quietness of your own heart.

Sometimes the wisest response is not immediate action.

Sometimes the highest guidance is simply to witness.

Witnessing is not indifference. It is the willingness to remain present without allowing fear to dictate our response. From that place of inner stillness, our next step often becomes clear.

At other times we may feel inspired to act. When that action arises from peace rather than reaction, it naturally carries greater balance, wisdom, and compassion.

Questions have been my companions throughout my life.

Rarely have I accepted an idea simply because someone declared it to be true. Instead, I have found myself asking, Why? Is this true? How does it align with what I know in my heart?

Research alone can expand the mind, but without the wisdom of the heart it often leaves us with only part of the picture.

Likewise, relying only upon feelings without discernment can also lead us astray.

The invitation is to allow the mind and the heart to walk together.

That balance opens the doorway to deeper understanding.

Everything I share is simply an invitation to contemplate.

I do not ask you to accept my words because they are mine.

I invite you to question them.

Sit with them.

Test them within your own experience.

Discover whether they resonate with your deepest knowing.

If they do, keep them.

If they do not bring greater clarity, balance, or peace, then gently release them and continue your search.

I often think of those who once believed that sailing too far would cause them to fall from the edge of the world.

Someone asked a question.

Someone chose to explore.

Someone discovered a greater truth.

Every meaningful advancement—whether spiritual, philosophical, or scientific—has begun because someone was willing to question accepted beliefs and step into the realm of possibility.

Questions are not the enemy of truth.

They are often the doorway through which truth reveals itself.

So ask.

Seek.

Listen.

Then carry every answer into the heart of Oneness, allowing peace, wisdom, and compassion to reveal the path that serves the highest good of all.

Refinement of Understanding

Too often in this world we see or hear of the horrors perpetuated by one human upon another, or even toward non-human life. As an empath, I feel the pain as much as I hear the news. There have been times it has made me angry, but over the years I have come to understand that anger rarely serves the purpose of healing. More often, it feeds the very energies of fear and separation that gave rise to the suffering.

Instead, I have learned to allow the Light to move through me toward the focus of the event and simply do what Light does. It touches the darkness, offering transformation to those who are ready to receive while bringing greater harmony to the energies surrounding the situation.

I realize this may sound like a repetition of things I have shared before. Yet I have found that understanding often returns in spirals. The same truth revisits us, not because we failed to learn it the first time, but because each return offers another layer of release, another refinement of understanding, and another opportunity to align with a higher perspective.

Recently I was reminded that the stories and events we witness are often only the surface of something far greater. What we see or hear is frequently the visible projection of countless unseen thoughts, beliefs, emotions, choices, and collective energies woven together over time.

Like an iceberg, only the smallest portion rises above the water. The greater mass remains hidden beneath the surface.

Perhaps this is why true discernment asks us to be slow in our judgments. We rarely see the whole story. We see only the part that has been projected into our awareness.

As I sat with this understanding, I sensed something else.

I am not being asked to tell you what it means.

I am simply asked to witness what has been shown.

To witness and allow does not mean we never protest injustice, speak our truth, write letters, or call upon those in authority to help those in need. Rather, I have learned to pause for a moment, take a conscious breath, and ask inwardly for guidance before responding.

That small space changes everything.

Instead of reacting from fear, anger, or emotional momentum, we create the opportunity to respond from Being. From that quieter place, our actions become more aligned with wisdom, compassion, and the highest good available in that moment.

For me, this has been a continual refinement.

It has also helped me realize that I cannot remain in retreat forever. Periods of solitude are invaluable while we release old patterns and establish greater inner stability. Yet eventually life gently asks us to return.

How else will we know whether what we believed we had released has truly been transformed?

Looking back, I can see that the years of COVID arrived at a time when I genuinely needed my cave. They provided space to become quiet, to reflect, to write, and to deepen my own inner alignment without feeling disconnected from the rest of the world. I still remained connected through family, customers, neighbors, and the news, but I was given the gift of returning home each day to contemplate what I was learning.

When that season ended, so began another.

The world had changed.

The energies of separation seemed louder than before, and I found that everything I thought I had learned was now being lovingly tested. Not to judge my progress, but to refine it further.

I now see witnessing and allowing as two expressions of the same understanding.

Allowing honors each person’s free will to choose their own path.

Witnessing allows us to remain present without becoming consumed by another’s journey.

When guidance invites us to speak, we speak with kindness.

When guidance invites us to remain silent, we honor the silence.

When guidance calls us into compassionate action, we act.

In those moments, it is no longer simply the personality trying to change the world.

It is the Light expressing itself through a willing heart, meeting only that which is ready to receive.

I know this may seem like I am returning once again to the same idea.

Perhaps I am.

Perhaps refinement itself is spiral in nature, revealing deeper understanding each time we return to what we thought we already knew.

One other understanding has also come to me.

When we help another living being—human or otherwise—from a place of genuine compassion rather than fear or the need to control, I have come to understand that such actions do not bind us in the way judgment, attachment, or personal agenda can. The circumstances another soul is experiencing may belong to their own journey, yet kindness freely offered remains an expression of love.

Afterward, I often ask that any fear, sorrow, or heaviness stirred within me also be brought into the Light and gently released.

For me, to witness another being in needless suffering and refuse to help, when I am genuinely able, is not aligned with my own heart.

Perhaps this is the delicate balance between witnessing and allowing.

There is no single formula.

No universal rule.

Each path into Oneness is as unique as the soul walking it. Each of us carries different experiences, different gifts, different lessons, and different opportunities to serve.

Perhaps this is what refinement truly is.

Not becoming indifferent.

Not withdrawing from the world.

Not reacting to every wave that rises before us.

But learning to pause long enough that our response comes from Being rather than fear.

Each of us will walk that refinement differently.

If these words resonate, hold them gently and contemplate them.

If they do not, honor your own inner guidance.

That, too, is part of the path.